


When the Dams Burst

by Heaven_And_Hell



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Adorable Castiel, Aggressive Castiel, Bisexual Dean, Biting, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Castiel's Handprint, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Time, Comforting Castiel, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Dean is a Tease, Declarations Of Love, Dom/sub Undertones, Dominance, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Castiel, Emotional Dean, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional Roller Coaster, Emotionally Hurt Dean, Emotionally Repressed Dean, Emotions, First Kiss, First Time, Fluffy Ending, Friends to Lovers, Frottage, Gentle Kissing, Hand Jobs, Horny Castiel, Human Castiel, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, My First AO3 Post, My First Castiel/Dean Winchester Fanfiction, My First Fanfic, My First Smut, Parental Castiel, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Power Dynamics, Profound Bond, Repressed Dean, Rough Kissing, Sexual Inexperience, Virgin Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-18
Updated: 2015-12-18
Packaged: 2018-05-07 08:40:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5450348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heaven_And_Hell/pseuds/Heaven_And_Hell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Cas' grace is stolen, he's having a hard time adjusting to being almost human. He's already realized he's in love with Dean, but now he's having trouble controlling his strong emotions and libido. An unashamed bi-Dean has known he's been in love and lust with Cas for years… Cas' being male is NOT the problem. After an unexpected kiss from Cas, Dean lets his guard down and they reveal how they really feel about each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Cas Sittin on the Bed, Thinking

**Author's Note:**

> Cas and Dean are in a motel room with only one full-sized bed. They’re working a simple salt and burn case to ease Cas back into hunting as a human. Sam isn't there and won't be there. Why? Who cares - porn without plot, people! };D

Cas has basically been human for 40 days, now.  _Basically_  human, because while Metatron stole his grace, he can still hear Angel Radio if he wants and see the true faces of supernatural beings, among other abilities "normal" humans don’t have – he’s still figuring out his new state of being. Cas has been an angel for eons, so qualities he’s always had which remain are less noticeable than those that are missing. Not being able to fly or “zap,” as Dean calls it, is very demoralizing. Cas really misses his wings, but tries not to think about it too much or he gets depressed. Not being able to heal anymore, though - that is really a blow. It hurts him deeply and makes him feel helpless and scared. If Dean or Sam were seriously ill or injured, what could he do? What if they died and were lost to him? A pain hits Cas in his chest, like he’s been stabbed through the heart with a phantom angel blade.

That’s another thing Cas is getting used to – emotions producing physical reactions in his body. That did happen when he was still an angel – he’d feel worry as a sick sloshy feeling in his gut, he’d inadvertently clench his fists and jaw when angry… he got a “boner,” as Dean called it, when aroused. But before, it was blunted; the emotions and physical sensations didn’t feel as deep or strong – probably because he wasn’t permanently bonded to his human vessel. It was like being cold and losing a level of feeling – muffled, but not completely numb. But just as someone out in the cold can feel more when they get closer to warmth, Cas has always felt the most when close to Dean – the man is like a damn bonfire.

Being effected by temperature, that’s another new thing Cas has experienced lately. It was so odd when his teeth started chattering. Dean berated him for letting himself get that cold in the first place, but how was he to know? Watching humans is vastly different from actually being one. The warmth Cas felt when Dean wrapped him in his arms, rubbing his back vigorously with both hands, after putting a blanket around him didn’t stop his shivering – that was wonderful. It didn’t just physically warm him, it made him feel warm in other ways, too: happy, comforted, content, grateful… loved and cared for. He was a bit surprised when he realized the love he feels for Dean is more than brotherly. He chuckled when he remembered describing their relationship as a “profound bond” – perhaps a part of him always knew? Cas smiles; he wishes he could be in Dean’s arms, again.


	2. Kisses and Confessions

Coming out of his reverie, Cas looks over at Dean who’s still wearing his Fed suit (minus jacket) from earlier in the day, working on his laptop at the motel room’s table. From his vantage point on the bed, Cas can only see half of Dean’s face, but he sees his eyes are focused and his jaw set – he’s intent on finding the information he’s looking for. Cas likes Dean’s determined face, he muses. Though he’s seen it numerous times before, he wants to see all of it, again, right now.

Cas gets off the bed and walks until he’s standing right next to Dean, staring at his face all the while. Yes, he likes the way Dean looks when he’s determined. Cas is surprised to realize it makes him feel safe, confident Dean will do something that’s good for all of them. But that’s not the only feeling looking at Dean produces. Cas has been getting better at naming the emotions and physical sensations he’s been feeling more and more. But there are so many relating to Dean that it’s hard to sort them all out. He feels much for Sam, too – especially when he shoots Cas a commiserating look when Dean’s being an ass – but there aren’t as many physical sensations when it comes to Sam. Cas decides to focus on what his body is telling him.

“What? You gonna help or just stand there staring at me all night?” Dean says while looking up at Cas expectantly. The moment Dean’s eyes are on him, Cas smiles again. He doesn’t think about it or will it to happen, it just does. Dean’s eyebrows are raised, waiting for a reply. Cas already knows he enjoys being physically closer to Dean than others. But what are these other physical sensations that go with it? His heart beats faster, his breathing is affected, sometimes he feels physically hotter - though he’s sure the temperature in the room didn’t increase. And some parts of his body will get even hotter than others and tingle or tremble, even. He wants something. He needs something from Dean. His body is yearning to reach out to Dean in many ways. “What is it?” Dean asks, again, the edge in his voice gone. Cas looks at Dean’s lips, then back to his concerned green eyes.

“I’m trying to figure out what these feelings are I get when we look at each other,” Cas explains. Dean’s eyebrows go up again and the side of his mouth starts curling into a smile. “The way it makes my body feel, too,” Cas adds helpfully.

“Oh  _that!”_  Dean laughs in that playful tone that pretends something is a trifling matter, not one of importance. Now full-on smiling, he takes a swig of his beer and closes the laptop. He leans back in his chair and runs his thumb down the side of his nose, to his lips and bites on his thumbnail, thinking.

“Ok,  ** _that,_** _”_  Cas pipes up, “what you’re doing right now – that’s doing something to me.” Dean smiles even wider, releasing his thumb, eyes twinkling.

Dean slaps his thighs decisively and says, “Ok, Cas, experiment time.” He stands up so he’s just a few inches away from the former angel. Dean takes the tip of Cas’ chin in his fingers and tilts his head up. Dropping his voice, he asks seductively, “What are you feeling _now,_  Cas?” His eyes glance down to Cas’ lips and he licks his own, before returning his gaze to Cas’ eyes.

Cas doesn’t have time to process everything he’s feeling. He just knows he wants to touch Dean and his cologne is intoxicating and those lips! Before he knows what he’s doing, his hands are on Dean and he’s kissing him gently. Just lips touching lips, a little bit of pressure – why,  _why_  does this feel so good?

Cas pulls back, breathing hard, heart pumping in his chest, unsteady on his feet. When Dean looks at him again, Cas feels like he should say something. Try to explain. Ask questions. Apologize. Something, anything, but he doesn’t know what to say. He’s speechless. Apparently Dean is, too, cause he just stares back at Cas with a look of – what is that? Cas tilts his head to the side, studying Dean’s expression. Surprise? Is that it? No, not exactly, Cas thinks as he narrows his eyes.

Dean can’t believe this has  _finally_  happened. Yeah, he’s been  _pretty sure_  Cas is attracted to him, but he kept doubting it til the last second. He could be reading things all wrong – Cas can act weird, sometimes. Hell, most of the time – he’s a weird little dude. And his behavior has gotten even weirder since losing his powers. And why would Cas even want him, anyway? But then Cas made his move and Dean felt big, velvety lips on his.  **Holy shit!**  How are his lips so soft when they look chapped all the time? And then they’re gone. He opens his eyes to see Cas looking back at him sorta panicked, until he tilts his head and gives Dean his confused, questioning look. Son of a bitch is fucking adorable. This is his chance – he’s gotta make a move before Cas starts talking or disappears, again. But he’s gotta make sure, cause this all feels very surreal. “Tha... that really happened?” Dean asks quietly, blinking.

 _Disbelief, that_ is what the look was, Cas thinks. “Yeah,” Cas laughs in relief and looks down shyly. When he looks back up, a huge smile spreads across his face, crinkling the skin around his stunning blue eyes, "It did."

“Good.” Suddenly, Dean rushes Cas, pushing him against the wall so hard, a picture falls off its nail to the floor. Cas jumps, startled by the sound and Dean’s unexpected actions. But then he feels what those actions are. Dean’s got a hand around the back of his head, fingers running through his hair and the other on his hip. His whole body is pressing Cas’ into the wall. And his lips, God! - he’s kissing Cas, desperately trying to get him to open his mouth and let him in. Cas had raised his hands in surprise, but now he slowly snakes one around Dean’s lower back and the other around the back of his neck, pulling him closer. Cas moans when he feels Dean grinding their crotches together. As soon as he opens his mouth to moan, Dean forces his tongue inside and Cas can taste him. Beer, he tastes like beer – of course he does. After what feels like a long time of their bodies urgently grinding, connecting, and clutching at each other, Dean breaks the kiss and huffs out, “What took you so long?!”

Cas’ mind and body are still reeling from over-stimulation, but the question almost angers him. He pushes Dean off him and snaps, “What took  _me_  so long? What took  _you_  so long?!”

Dean gives a small laugh and backs away from Cas with his hands up. “Really, Cas? You wanted  _me_  to make the first move?  _Me?”_  Cas’ eyes get wider and more intense. Dean knows that’s a “Yes,” so he snags his beer, takes a swig, and sits on the edge of the bed. He sighs and continues, “Cas, buddy… look, it’s one thing to get rejected by a human. I’ve had my share of slaps to the face… a couple of punches, too, come to think of it,” Dean holds his jaw and his eyes go distant for a moment as he remembers. Then his eyebrows do the equivalent of a shrug and he continues, “But you were an ‘Angel of the Freaking Lord,’ man, with super-powers and shit! It’s tough enough taking a gamble a dude might be into other dudes if you’re not at a gay bar or something. But if I was wrong about you and you didn’t feel the same about me… I… I was afraid you might kill me!” He laughs again, trying to hide his fear behind humor.

Cas’ eyes narrow slightly and an expression of confusion gives way to sadness on his face, making his eyes wide and pitiful “You were afraid of me, when I had my grace?”

“Duh!”

“Oh, Dean!” Cas quickly kneels before Dean, putting his hands on Dean’s knees and looking up into his face. Although Dean’s confused and sort of panicked by Cas’ odd action, he instantly rests one of his hands on top of Cas’. But he doesn’t want to look into Cas’ pained blue eyes - he’s had enough of that puppy-dog shit from Sam over the years – so he turns his head and looks at the pattern on the crappy bedspread instead. “Dean," Cas' voice is serious and sincere, "I would  _never_  smite you.” Dean laughs a little at the word “smite” and how heartfelt Cas said it, but emotions he’s pushed down inside him are bubbling to the surface now and he has to deal with those, instead.

Dean makes his expression blank to hide his pain, before looking at Cas. “You did beat the shit out of me a few times, Cas,” he says calmly. “I… " Dean huffs out a breath to keep his composure, "I really thought you were going to kill me when we went to get the Angel Tablet.” And there it is – the pain and regret and guilt – instantly visible in Cas’ eyes. He lowers his gaze from Dean’s face and hangs his head. It was easier talking to Cas when his emotions didn't show as much, Dean thinks. When Cas looks up, again, Dean’s shocked to see tears in his eyes. Before Dean can say anything, Cas gently takes Dean’s fingers into his hand and starts rubbing his thumb over the backs of them while saying, “I am  _so_  sorry, Dean.”

The physical sensation of Cas rubbing his fingers is comforting and Dean’s mind goes blank for a minute, just relishing Cas’ touch. It’s almost hypnotic, like the Magic Fingers. But a tear rolling down Cas’ cheek reminds Dean of the drop of blood that ran down his cheek when they went to save Alfie. “Look, I know that wasn’t your fault, Cas. I know that bitch Naomi was mind-controlling you.” Cas doesn’t quite smile at that, but his mouth straightens out with some relief. “And when I was going to give up and say ‘Yes’ to Michael, you were right to beat my ass.”

Cas just smiles back sadly. Dean pulls Cas’ hand fully into his and squeezes, “Here, get off your knees.” Dean smirks a little at his words as he pulls Cas up to sit next to him on the bed. “But you were God at one point, Cas!  **GOD!**  – with a capital ‘G’ and I’m just a man.”

Cas looks down and says ruefully, “No, I just thought I was.”

“Well, whatever, but you had a shit-ton of power. You exploded Raphael like it was nothing.” Dean counters.

Cas purses his lips and gives a little nod in acknowledgement, before leaning towards Dean sideways and saying, “Bitch had it coming.” Dean laughs and Cas grins.

“You called me an ant, ya know,” Dean says somewhat seriously, “That hurt, Cas.”

“A  _brave_  ant,” Cas says and raises his index finger with the word “brave.” Dean laughs and smiles in spite of himself. This is supposed to be a serious conversation, but it’s so mind-boggling, it’s ridiculous. Their lives are fucking ridiculous. Plus, he’s hitting that stage of sleeplessness where  _everything_  seems hilarious.

He tries one last time, “But you know what I’m saying, right, Cas? You can see why I’d be… intimidated by you?”

Cas nods thoughtfully, “Yes, Dean. I knew I was much more powerful than you, but sometimes I’d… forget? I guess?” Cas shrugs his shoulders in a very human fashion (Dean still isn’t used to that) before continuing, “You and your brother are quite powerful for humans, Dean, and formidable opponents against angels and demons alike. You remember when Sam killed Alastair with his mind?”

“Yeah, that… I’ll be honest, that freaked me out.” Dean confesses.

“That’s an archangel level power, Dean.” Cas explains.

“Shit.”

“Yeah,” Cas nods. “Even when I was a seraph, that was beyond my abilities. So sometimes I’d forget the two of you were human. And the closer I grew to you; the higher in esteem I held you…” Cas was going to continue trying to talk out his feelings for Dean, so maybe they both could understand them – until he saw the smirk on Dean’s face. “What?”

“Is that why you called me your  _pet_ … because you hold me in such 'high esteem?'” Dean replies, putting air quotes around the last two words and grinning.

“I… uh…” Cas laughs nervously and looks away in embarrassment.

Seeing Cas squirm like this is too much. Dean can’t stop smiling. It’s so strange seeing Cas truly emoting since becoming human. Dean is used to the angel having rigid body posture and being nearly stone-faced. A thought occurs to him and he just  _has to_  try it out. He wants to see what face Cas will make to a little confession of his. “It’s ok, Cas. I’ll tell ya something. I hate to admit it and if you  **ever** tell Sam, I’ll deny it to my dying day.” He wags a finger at Cas, while looking at him sternly.

“I won’t tell Sam,” Cas says evenly.

“You better not.” Cas half-smiles at that. "Even though I was scared shitless when you became God." Dean looks down and starts playing with the end of his red and white striped tie as he continues, "And it really  _should’ve_  pissed me off… I, uh… heh," Dean keeps his eyes down and lowers his voice to conspiratorial levels,  _"I… uh... I kinda liked it when you called me your pet.”_  Dean bumps his shoulder against Cas', his eyes darting to the side of Cas’ face, searching for a reaction. Cas wordlessly puts a hand over his mouth and then to his cheek. Dean notices said cheek coloring under Cas’ fingers. “Wait a minute… are you freaking  _blushing?!”_  Cas looks back timidly and sure enough, the former angel’s cheeks are flushed almost crimson – not just pink, but bright red.

“Is that why my face is so hot?” Cas asks, touching his other cheek.

"Are you kidding me?" Dean slaps his knee and rolls back onto the bed with laughter. He laughs harder and longer than he probably should, but damn if it doesn’t feel good. "That... now that is fricken  _adorable!”_  Dean feels his stress melt away with his laughter. He pops off his dress shoes and scoots back onto the bed to get more comfortable. “See, Cas,” Dean slaps a hand on the former angel’s back as he lays back onto the mattress, “This is what I love about you. You can make me laugh without even trying. I just feel good when you’re around.”

The easy, genuine smile Dean flashes him puts Cas at ease and gives him just enough courage to turn and slowly ask, “You…  _love_  me?” Dean’s expression quickly changes to  _“Oh shit!”_ and Cas can’t even name all the emotions that swirl through him at that, but his heart is beating so hard, it’s starting to concern him. Dean can read the fear, expectation, dread, and faint hope growing on Cas’ face and although loving  _something_  about someone doesn’t  _necessarily_  mean you love  _them,_  Dean decides to forgo that explanation because - it doesn't matter. He does love Cas. What looks back at Cas is not Dean’s scoffing poker face or his sly seductive smile or any of the other masks he uses to hide his feelings – it’s just Dean, open and honest. He’s looked at Cas like this a handful of times and Cas always thinks it makes Dean look like a lost little boy. But this time, while some fear and sadness are still present in his wide green eyes, the confusion is gone. Dean can’t make himself speak and he looks almost apologetic as he manages to nod a little “yes.”

Cas sighs in relief and smiles with tears in his eyes. Dean tries to smile back, but he feels like crying, too – which is making his face switch between both expressions. That's it - he’s lost control of his face. That’s what he gets for dropping the masks, he thinks. He probably looks like a fucking weirdo, twitching and shit. Cas crawls over and lies next to him, propping his upper body up with one arm to face him. Dean watches as Cas leans over him and stares into his eyes a bit too long for comfort, before saying, “I love you, too, Dean.”

And that does it. Dean starts crying. Well, not full on crying, but a few tears roll out before he shuts his eyes tight and says, “No you don’t.” Cas gently places his hand on Dean’s cheek and Dean brushes it away, weakly whining,  _“Don’t,”_  like a small child.

The action almost breaks Cas’ heart, but he’s also – not exactly angry – more like tired of Dean’s low opinion of himself. “Dean,” he says authoritatively, cupping Dean’s cheek with his hand, again. Dean doesn’t respond – no words or movement, except for another traitorous tear falling. “Dean,” Cas tries softer this time, rubbing Dean’s cheek with his thumb, “Look at me.” Dean opens his eyes, but doesn’t move his head and the pouting child expression stays on his face. “Dean, I  **do**  love you. It wasn’t until I lost my grace that I understood just how much, but I  _do_  love you.”

Dean stares at Cas for a minute, considering, but then his expression changes to anger. His eyebrows go down as he quickly jumps up and starts yelling, pointing a finger at Cas. “No you don’t!” Dean’s voice is strong and accusing now, getting louder by the second and Cas fears what Dean may do in this charged state. "If you  _did_  love me, Cas, you wouldn’t keep leaving me! You wouldn't just zap away all the damn time!” Dean throws his arms out in exasperation and paces the room. Just as it seems he’s going to start ranting, again – his whole demeanor changes. He seems to calm down and lowers his voice. “I get it, though, you know. I do. What’s to love about me?!" Dean looks up with pleading eyes and sees Cas looking back at him tenderly. 

_"Dean,"_ Cas says in a gentle but firm tone that means that's not a valid question and Dean should know that.

Dean hangs his head and gasps out in a pained voice, “Oh, Cas,” and walks over to the other man dejectedly. He wraps both his arms around Cas, pulling him into a hug.

Dean starts sobbing into Cas’ neck and holds onto him tightly, as if his life depended on it. Cas hugs him back firmly with one arm and softly strokes the back of his hair with the other. “Shhhhh,” he croons, which just makes Dean cry harder. This is a new emotional reaction from Dean, Cas muses. He hopes it’s a good thing, hopes it means Dean will start facing his emotions rather than running from them or fighting them. But the man in his arms seems so utterly broken that Cas can’t help but worry. Can he heal Dean without his grace? When Dean’s arms start to loosen and slip to his waist, Cas sits them both on the bed and starts slowly rocking Dean, just slightly. Dean’s still crying, but manages to croak out, “Don’t leave me, again. Ok, Cas? You always leave me.” Cas pulls back a little and when Dean looks up fearfully at him, he says, “I’m not going anywhere, Dean. _Not anymore.”_ Dean pulls him tighter and whispers, “Thank you.”


	3. Tease

After a while, Cas loses track of time while rocking Dean on the bed. It’s comforting to him as well as Dean and at some point during their trance-like state; he started rubbing Dean’s back with his thumb. Cas looks down to discover Dean’s fallen asleep in his arms. Dean’s relaxed features cause Cas to smile with relief. He starts stroking Dean's hair, again and gets lost in his thoughts. He might not be able to heal all of Dean’s pain, but he knows Dean letting his emotional guard down earlier was a huge step in the right direction. It appears years of repressed emotions came flooding out of the man, then, overwhelming him. Cas is glad he was able to provide Dean with some sort of comfort, especially since... it is his fault Dean melted down, isn’t it? He’s the one who came crashing through his carefully crafted and fortified wall by kissing him. But then… Dean reciprocated. He even asked why Cas had waited so long. Cas sighs – while he’s proud of the progress he’s made in understanding emotions, they still confuse him and they are  _absolutely exhausting._  No wonder humans need sleep. He’d like to get some sleep, too, but he’s afraid of jostling Dean awake. Maybe if he moves slowly and gingerly, it’d be possible?

Cas straightens up a little and Dean’s arms slip further down Cas’ body so now Dean’s hands are on Cas’ butt. The sensation of Dean touching him there, even unwittingly, causes Cas to let out a little gasp and his hips jerk forward a little, as if on their own. Dean’s groggy voice startles him, “Whatcha doin, Cas?”

Cas stammers as he looks down at Dean’s face, “I was… trying to get us more comfortable… so I could go to sleep, too.” Cas doesn’t know why he feels like he got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

Dean feels vulnerable emotionally – he came apart in front of Cas, earlier and isn’t comfortable about that. He needs to regain the upper hand to feel safe. So he slips into his seductive mode. He’s had enough of talking about feelings, tonight. He wants to switch gears and being this close to Cas is turning him on, again. It isn’t like he hasn’t wanted to do this  _forever,_  anyway. He straightens up, but keeps his hands on Cas’ ass, “Oh, I see,” he laughs playfully as he gently squeezes and massages the former angel’s ass. Cas gasps and pulls Dean closer, his fingers gripping Dean's dress-shirt tight. Dropping his voice, Dean whispers in his ear, “Is this more comfortable for you, Cas?” Cas shudders and a low moan escapes his lips. His breathing is fast and heavy and he can feel himself starting to get hard, “I wasn’t trying to… I wasn’t,” he manages to breathe out. 

“Doin ok there, buddy?” Dean laughs and his mischievous smile is met by hazy blue eyes. Dean knows that look; Cas is his, now. He smiles wider as he decides to tease him a little. “You’re right, it’s late,” Dean says as he gets off the bed. One of Cas’ hands trails down Dean’s chest as he gets up and Dean’s glad the last thing it touches is his leg and not his dick. “We should get some sleep,” he says as he turns off the lights and sits back down on the edge of the bed to start undressing. Cas is still turned on, but he follows Dean’s lead and starts taking his clothes off – presumably for bed – too. Dean can hear Cas is still breathing heavy and he has to hide his smile. When he feels the mattress shifting, he turns back to see Cas only in white boxers, throwing his suit pants haphazardly onto the floor. Dean decides to leave his boxers on, too and turns back to see Cas under the covers, the thin blanket tented around his crotch. The fact Cas is trying to play it cool and act like he’s fine with just going to sleep now is precious. When Dean starts getting under the covers, Cas notices he’s not the only one whose body seems to have a mind of its own. Dean glances over and while Cas’ eyes aren’t as terrified as they were in the brothel, he still looks unsure and nervous. Dean instantly feels a pang of regret and says, “I’m sorry, Cas. I shouldn’t have messed with you. It’s ok.”

Cas seems to relax a bit at that and scoots closer to Dean. “I… um…” he scoots back quickly and announces, “Dean, I’m having some trouble controlling myself.”

“I know. You’re turned on. It’s ok, Cas. I am, too.” Dean says reassuringly.

“So what do we do now?” Cas asks and bites his lower lip while eyeing Dean.

Seeing Cas biting his lip makes Dean lose his cool. Fuck is he sexy! He wanted to try doing this slow and sweet, but now his blood is pumping and he just wants to jump this gorgeous man next to him. Still, he does his best to control himself; he already half-mauled the poor guy earlier. Grinning, he slides next to him and says, “Whatever feels good, Cas." As soon as he gets the words out, Cas rolls on top of him and starts kissing him frantically and grinding away.


	4. Give Me What I Need

Dean groans in pleasure, his hands sliding to the back of Cas’ head and ass, without conscious thought. Once the surprise wears off, he realizes he’s got Cas right on top of him, going to town and he’s thrusting right along with him. Both their dicks are hard and if Cas doesn’t slow down, Dean’s going to cum embarrassingly fast. Feeling Cas’ cock grinding down onto his has Dean’s thighs shivering – he can’t take much more of this. He lets out a moan, but Cas stops it with another of his many, quick closed-mouth kisses; he’s planting little kisses all over Dean’s face.

Dean rolls them over, so he’s on top, but he leaves space between their bodies so the grinding will stop. Ok, so both their hips keep going, but now there’s only a little friction. Dean realizes that’s even worse; it’s even more tantalizing when their cocks touch intermittently and unexpectedly. Dean raises his hips even higher so there’s no contact between their crotches at all. Cas  _whines_  from the loss of contact and Dean laughs at the grumpy little face below him, “I know, I know. But, dude, you gotta slow down! We’re both gonna blow our loads too quick.” Cas stares up at him and nods with dreamy eyes. Holy fuck is he gorgeous – black hair sticking up every which way but sideways, skin white in the moonlight, pleading blue eyes, parted pink lips. Dean doesn’t want to risk lowering down onto Cas, yet. He’s gonna see if he can slow things down. He stares into Cas’ gorgeous blue eyes and actually sees his pupils expand. He tries to get his breathing under control. Cas is breathing heavy, too and licks his lips, but soon his breaths are matching Dean’s and their hips have almost slowed their roll to a stop. “Good. Let’s try to take it slow this time, ok?” Cas nods silently.

Keeping his ass up in the air and mentally laughing at himself at how he must look, Dean leans down to kiss Cas. They stare into each other’s eyes until their lips meet. Dean starts with a slow, lingering, closed-mouth kiss and then another and another. Cas is eager for more, but he's holding himself back. Dean lowers himself down, turning his head as he slides a hand behind Cas’. Cas thrusts his hips up as Dean moves to French-kissing. Dean stretches his tongue out along the bottom side of Cas’. Cas quickly wraps his tongue around Dean’s and they both slide them back along the swirl they’ve created, swallow, and go in and do it again and again. They’re both lost in the sensations of each other for a bit: the slickness of the undersides of tongues, the plushness of the tops, the tastes of each other, hands sliding over and caressing exposed skin. They break for air and now Cas is the one met with hazy, loving eyes. “That’s how I’ve wanted to kiss you... for a long time... Cas,” Dean admits between breaths, rubbing his thumb over Cas’ bottom lip. Yep, velvet. Fuck.

“I didn’t know this is what I wanted; what I needed. I just knew I wanted,  _you,_  Dean… but not really  _how,”_  Cas confesses.

“Well I’m glad you finally figured it out,” Dean laughs.

Cas makes a noise and face of discomfort, “I don’t mean to be demanding, but it’s starting to hurt, now,” Cas says as he presses his very hard cock up against Dean.

“Right, let’s lose the underwear.” Dean has his whipped off in a matter of seconds. He’s pretty hard, too and doesn't need to be told twice. Cas gets up off the bed to take his off. He kicks them off his foot, then turns around to face Dean and get back on the bed. Dean is not prepared for the sight in front of him. “Holy shit, Cas!”

“What?” Cas quirks a confused eyebrow while crawling over to Dean.

“You… you’ve got a giant cock.” Dean fumbles out, while staring at Cas’ long, thick dick.

Cas grins devilishly and stands up on his knees when he gets to Dean. Dean does the same, still staring. Cas looks down and says to Dean, matter-of-factly, “It’s not much longer than yours.”

“No, but it’s fucking thick! Look at this thing! It’s a monster!” Dean almost laughs. He reaches a hand out and asks, “Can I touch it?” and has to laugh at himself for that question. He sounds like he's asking to pet a dog or something.

 _“Yes, please,”_  is all Cas says as he puts his hands on Dean’s shoulders, the fingers of his right hand curling around the side of Dean’s neck and into his hair.

Hesitatingly, Dean moves his hand forward, eyes flitting from Cas’ eyes to his dick and back. He takes just his index finger and thumb and wraps them around the base of Cas’ cock, still impressed by its girth. Cas groans a little and pushes forward. When Dean puts his left hand on the side of Cas’ neck for support, he sees Cas’ eyes are closed tight and his teeth clenched. He wraps his whole hand around Cas’ cock and slowly slides it to the head.

“Ahhh!” Cas gasps out in pleasure and shock, his voice higher than usual. He instinctively thrusts into Dean’s hand a few times and Dean lets his hand slide, a little slick with pre-cum. He can feel Cas’ cock throbbing in his hand; he’s hard as a fucking rock.

“Hold up!” Dean says and moves to get off the bed.

 ** _“NO!”_**  Castiel thunders at him with his commanding "Angel of the Lord" voice. He holds onto Dean’s shoulders and forces him back down to his knees, where he was before, growling, “Finish what you start,  _boy!”_

“HOLY SHIT, CAS!” Dean exclaims, eyes wide. He would’ve fallen backwards off the bed in shock if Cas didn’t have his fingers digging into his shoulders hard, holding him in place. Dean’s heart is pounding with fear and arousal. A little moan escapes his lips and he shudders as his dick gets harder and he feels himself starting to drip pre-cum. “Cas,” Dean breathes as tingles ripple through his body, _“…that was hot as **fuck!”**_

 _“I **need** you, Dean,”_  Cas murmurs, slinking closer to suck on Dean's neck.

 _“Oh, God, Cas, yes..."_ Dean groans as he runs his nails down Cas' back and his hips start rolling of their own accord. He fights off the urge to give into the pleasure and says, "Let me go get the lube."

Cas pulls back and looks at him with suspicious eyes.

"It'll make it feel so much better," Dean assures him.

"Oh," Cas releases his grip on Dean, "Go."

“I’ll be right back,” Dean says, jumping off the bed and retrieving the lube from his duffle. When he gets back to the bed, Cas is stroking himself and fuck is that hot. Dean gets back into place, squirts some lube in his left hand, and says, “Here, let me help you with that…” but before he even finishes what he’s saying, Cas grabs his hand and pulls it to his dick. He wraps Dean’s lubed hand around his cock, his left hand around Dean’s, and starts jerking himself off - without Dean doing much of anything except "lending a hand" and watching. But it’s a sight worth seeing. Cas is sitting back on his heels, eyes squeezed shut, spiky hair everywhere, head tilted back showing off his stubble and Adam’s apple – which bobs with each groan. Sweat is dripping down his chest, now, between his pecs and Dean can see the edges of Cas’ abs as it drips lower.  ** _“Fuck,_** _Cas,”_  Dean breathes out.

 **“Yes,”**  Cas responds, surging up and grabbing the back of Dean’s head with his right hand and roughly pulling him into a deep, long kiss. During the kiss, Cas moves closer, forcing Dean back onto his heels and almost sitting on his crotch. Dean frees his left thumb and reaches back, pulling his own dick up against Cas’. When they touch, Cas breaks the kiss, moaning, “Oh God!” and moves his left hand to wrap around both their cocks as well.

Dean moans at the first skin-on-skin contact his dick has gotten during all this. Cas’ skin is hot and the lube is warm. It takes them a few seconds, but soon they are thrusting together and the feeling of their cocks sliding against each other in their joined hands is intense. “Fuck!” Dean gasps out and locks eyes with Cas as their hands slide back up. Oh God, he’s got me, now, Dean thinks as he sees the predatory look on Cas’ face. Dean pushes his body up off his heels so he and Cas are upright and face-to-face, their dicks and hands sandwiched between their stomachs. Staring at each other intensely, their hands and hips move faster til Dean starts to whimper. He's embarrassed, but he can't help it. Oh God, Dean thinks, I'm going to cum first! He leans forward, snaking his free right arm under Cas’ left and continuing around his back, til he’s gripping Cas’ right shoulder from behind. Dean pulls him close, slinging his head over Cas’ left shoulder and starts thrusting with abandon. Dean can’t keep track of whose body part is whose, anymore – he just feels hot wet skin all around his dick from their bodies pressing together and when Cas starts fucking  _grunting,_  Dean loses it.


	5. Release

A wordless cry escapes Dean’s lips with his first spurt of cum, adding to the slick, hot wetness between their bodies. He feels Cas’ body jerk in surprise, but Cas groans in approval, thrusting faster. Dean’s lost control and words tumble out of his mouth mindlessly with each stutter of his hips, “Oh God, Cas… I love you! I love you, baby!” Dean grabs hold of the back of Cas’ head and Cas claws at Dean’s hip to pull him closer at this declaration. Dean can feel it takes him two tries to grab hold, cause both their bodies are slippery with sweat. But the thought doesn’t really register, cause he’s lost in his own pleasure.

“Dean!” Cas groans, his voice getting higher and his muscles tighter.

“Don’t leave me, baby. Don’t leave me no more,” Dean continues, still riding the wave of his orgasm. He plasters his cheek against Cas’ and holds on tight. Luckily, their stubble prevents them from slipping apart, even though both their faces are burning hot and wet with sweat. Dean is almost spent. With the last shudder of his body, he latches onto Cas’ earlobe with his teeth and exhales in his ear, _“I’m yours, Cas. **Yours.** ”_

Cas pushes Dean down on the bed hard. Luckily, Dean lets go of his earlobe in surprise. Cas moans at the sensations of his dick being smashed between their bodies and the slipping and sliding of trying to stay on top. Without warning, he growls, **_“MINE!”_**   and bites onto Dean’s neck hard.

 ** _“OH, JESUS, CAS!“_**   Dean screams out, grinding again, even though his dick is almost soft. Cas sucks harder, releasing a stream of words from Dean, _“OhFuckCasYesFuckFuck!OhGOD!YES!“_

Cas pulls away abruptly and moans, “Ahhh… Deeean... my testicles… ache!” His face is a grimace of pain and he’s panting hard.

Dean doesn’t know why Cas is having a hard time getting off, he was sure the virgin human Cas would blow his load right away. Must be a mental block, he thinks. “It’s ok, Cas. Give yourself to me, baby,” Dean tries. Cas pries open one eye of his scrunched up face and looks down at Dean like he’s crazy. Dean smiles, “Don’t be afraid, Cas. Your body knows what to do. Let yourself _feel_ it. Lose control.”

The disbelieving look leaves Cas’ face and his features start to relax. _“Oooooh, Dean!”_ he moans in a voice laced with fear, as his hips speed up. He looks down at Dean with worried eyes.

“It’s ok. Give into the feeling,” Dean reassures him. Dean untangles his hand from Cas’ and slides it to the top of Cas’ dick, rubbing his thumb on the underside of the head, repeatedly.

 **“OH DEAN!!!!”** Cas cries and jerks forward in time with Dean’s thumb.

Staring in Cas’ terrified eyes, Dean says, “Give your love to me, Castiel. All of it,” and slides his hand closed around the head of Cas’ dick and gives it a squeeze.

 _“OH FUCK, DEAN! FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, AHHH-aahhhhhh!”_ Cas practically screams as he starts to cum. Dean loosens his fingers, but it’s a monster load and hot jizz squirts out between them, going everywhere. Dean laughs in surprise and luckily, Cas doesn’t notice. The former angel is pistoning his hips above him like a fucking machine and releases another spurt of cum in and around Dean’s hand. Things are starting to get messy. Dean takes his hand off Cas’ dick and wipes it on the sheet. He’s looking around for the top sheet when Cas’ third load hits his stomach and chest. The heat of it turns him back on a bit and when Cas lowers his body down onto him, lowly moaning, “Oh, Dean, I love you, I love you, I love you” in that gravelly voice of his – Dean practically melts into him.

“I love you, too, Cas,” Dean says while marveling at how gorgeous Cas’ eyes are. Big deep pure black pupils, like black holes he could fall into, surrounded by a ring of celestial blue – the light blue and white reminding Dean that this is an angel from Heaven giving himself to him, now. If he can just hold onto that ring of blue and not fall into the depths...

Cas stops staring and lines his hand up with the handprint he left on Dean’s skin. He squeezes tight while mumbling, “You’re mine, Dean. _Mine.”_ They both shiver a little at that. Cas collapses on Dean and Dean likes the feeling of Cas’ dead weight on him. He feels wanted, safe, secure… and loved. That’s right, Dean thinks, even if he ends up back in Hell, Cas will save him. He might not have his mojo anymore, but Dean knows Cas will find a way – because he loves him. Dean nuzzles his face into Cas’ hair and kisses the top of his head. Cas mumbles something in Enochian, in reply.

“Hmmm?” Dean asks. Cas moves his head and looks at Dean with content, drowsy, questioning eyes. “What did you say, Cas?”

“Oh, that’s right,” Cas smiles, “I said, ‘You are my beloved and I will never leave you.’” Dean’s eyes tear up and his lower lip wobbles a little. Cas doesn’t want him to cry, again, so he decides to be silly. “But I might… _eat_ you, NOM!” and playfully mouths Dean’s neck.

Dean laughs, “Cut it out, you weirdo!” and gently pushes Cas’ cheek with his palm. Cas pulls back and sees Dean is beaming – the apples of his cheeks round with his smile and his eyes twinkling. It’s so good to see Dean happy - _and I made him that way,_ Cas thinks. He smiles even wider as he snuggles into Dean’s chest.

“Does this mean we’re dating now?” Dean asks, his heart beating faster, though he’s trying his hardest to keep it calm.

“Duh!” Cas replies, making a goofy face at Dean.

Dean’s face scrunches up with laughter, “You did **_NOT_ ** just say that!”

“Yes, I did. _Deal with it.”_ Cas grins.

Dean shakes his head, laughing. “Come on,” he says, “let’s go get cleaned up.” Cas raises his eyebrows, wondering if this means showering together. When Dean bounces his eyebrows back, he knows it does.

“Lead the way,” Cas smiles back, wondering why he didn’t kiss Dean _ages_ ago.

**Author's Note:**

> So... this was the first fanfic/porn I've ever written. I hope it’s not obvious! I'm not super pleased with it, but I figured I’d post it and let y’all tell me what you think. I tried hard to make it good, but I know my writing can improve a lot. I feel like their personalities and moods fluctuate too much in this. I need to make sure I keep them in character. With practice, I'll get there. 
> 
> I have a great idea for a series with a slow-burn of Human Cas and Dean getting together (alt season 9), that I think would line up much more with canon. Dean will realize he’s bisexual in that one and struggle with it (much more humorously than angsty – think wet dreams and awkward boners). It will also heavily involve Sam in an actual plot. But first, I’m going to write a one-shot of Angel Cas entering Dean's dreams that involves BDSM, hehehe. Onward and upwards!


End file.
